They’re everywhere: on the bus, on the train, in class, outside class, in bathrooms, at the restaurants, at the gym, in the shower, in the elevators. Sometimes they’re funny to insult, annoying at other times, sometimes if you’re lucky, you’ll not want to run away from where they are at the moment. They’re also one of the most interesting species, if I may, to observe. Some always hold hands, others don’t even look at each other. Some always look paranoid, some infatuated. There are very very very few couples that I’m jealous of, the kind who seem to be at peace with each other. Not necessarily silent, just…in sync.
High-school had this extremely weird social structure; if you “liked” someone, you confided in your friends, and they told their other friends who brought it up in random conversations, until everyone in the school knew. If you were lucky enough and your object of affected “liked” you too, it would be assumed that you are “unofficial” or “thing-ing”, and you would be subjected to silly comments and a lot of collective “ooooh”s and would have to sneak out of places, out of range of parents, teachers and even friends, to “talk” (which meant awkward conversations following the pattern: “Um. Yeah. So we should go out.” “Okay. Yeah”). Paper chits would be passed around class, and then, when Facebook came to define your social status, the relationship would be made “official”. If you belonged to the other half, comprising of hopeless romantics, people stuck in fantasy, creeps and stalkers, you were left to deal with your hormones and feelings until you found another person you thought was “the most unique I’ve ever known”. Guys pretended to laugh about it, girls pretended to ignore the person. Soon enough, it all became another memory from school, meant to be refreshed when you accidentally bumped into the person at the mall, or the airport, or during lunch three years later.
College made it a bit more complicated and yet simplified in a way (speaking from the four months I’ve been here for). The annoying couples still seem to be scattered everywhere, but the high-school social structure has, thankfully, mostly been done away with, and I found a couple (two friends of mine) who I’m both, incredibly happy for and jealous of. More factors come into play now, including alcohol consumption, distance, time and even academic faculty (sometimes you just can’t mix two).
Then there are the couples I watch around me, parents, relatives, friends and strangers. There are so many couples I see on buses here that hold hands, almost compulsively, like it’s required; some women keep tugging at their partner’s hand when they see a (perhaps more, in their opinion) attractive woman in the immediate vicinity. Some always argue and blame each other, although some just work that way. There are also some I’ve noticed that seem to have no sort of chemistry or even understanding and these are the ones that put me off the whole idea. Then there are the ones that are a couple even when they’re not.
My opinion of couples in the past two years has wandered from jealousy to being thankful for not having had a relationship yet. Currently, I’m somewhere in the middle, although they remain incredibly interesting to analyse (I tend not to believe in “true love” and such things; in my opinion, you’ll find someone each time you look).
Frankly speaking, relationships scare me a bit: I’ve seen enough people being hurt, losing self-confidence, crying, hating themselves because of a failed or non-existent relationship. I’ve seen people in relationships for all the wrong reasons; I’ve seen people change, sometimes for the worse; in the occasionally-confusing social structure we survive in, I’ve seen Person A “love” Person B because Person B made their feelings for Person A vocal, almost out of guilt; sometimes people are just nicer because they know you have feelings for them, which, in my opinion, is a bit of an insult; I’d rather, in my sometimes idealistic opinion, Person A like Person B for who they are, and not because Person B doesn’t think A is a loser.
At the same time, I’ve seen the same hurt, confused, depressed people finding, as they say, happiness and someone to see the world with. Some are plain lucky, some are brave. But each “successful” relationship seems like a miracle; to paraphrase a thought by my best friend, it’s incredible how two people find each other out of the 6 or 7 billion other humans on Earth (she’s the romantic, I’m the cynic who laughs at such things yet blogs about it later.).
After watching countless chick-flicks, giving and listening to other give relationship advice, post-midnight “cry parties” abusing the friend’s ex-boy/girlfriend and being subjected to tragedies like Valentine’s Day and such, I’ve grown to realise that this issue is no where near its end (honestly, people, it’s getting old) as long as people continue to be foolish and, well, human. It depends on each person, situation, age, belief etc. and it’s just pointless thinking too much about it or crying over it(but you knew that, didn’t you? Even when you cried and wondered why your boyfriend doesn’t compliment you 16 times a day like your other friend’s boyfriend does).
But we still do.
I told you being 5 years old was easier.
(Note to couples: No, I don’t want to know what you did. No, your giggling and whispering doesn’t make my day. Just because I’m not punching you doesn’t mean I like sitting next to you.)
Sorry, Greg.
